Tuesday, October 11, 2011

From heartbreak to BLISS................

You know, I think I forget sometimes how blessed I truly am. I feel sorry for myself when something goes wrong, or things don't go my way, but I am so very grateful for the things I have in my life. I got to thinking today...............I have an AMAZING husband. He is flawed like anyone else, but he truly is God's gift to me. He is so helpful, caring, and a spectacular father and husband. He is asleep on the couch with my son and I don't think that there is another picture in this world that I love to see. He's so fun to look at too. lol He gets better looking with age. I wish I had that gift. lol He helps me cook, clean, take care of the kids, he's considerate and understands when I need ME time. I don't know what I would do without him. So here is what I was thinking earlier. We all have the guy that broke our heart. The one that was our first love and we never forget. If you are lucky, this man is your husband, but lots of us dated other guys before our husbands, so it's only natural to have this "first love" in our lives. Although I can hardly call it that anymore, because I can honestly say I didn't know what love was until marrying Quinn. But you know what I mean. =) So I was thinking about it the other day..........."my first love" was totally opposite of what Quinn is. He was outgoing, not shy, outwardly funny, sports watcher, etc. I usually dated guys like him. So I got to wondering what it was that drew me to Quinn. But first I have to give you a brief glance into my heart break. I WAS MADLY IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY...........at the time. =) But my family moved and we were like 3 hours away. So I guess he decided it was too hard and decided to break my heart in the worst way imaginable. He had his friend, whom I HATED and never got along with, break up over the phone for him. And it was hurtful too, his friend was not kind. He told me that he didn't care about me, didn't want to talk to me, etc. It was harsh. Then he wouldn't answer my phone calls........blah blah blah! =) And we were friends WAY before we dated, so it was doubly hurtful. It was awful. I think that was the first time I felt truly pummeled by someone I cared about. So I honestly thought that this guy was EVERYTHING I wanted in a future spouse. Not that I planned on marrying him, but he had the qualities I wanted. Well..........a lot of them. lol So I got to thinking about the type of guys I dated and what qualities I liked in those guys. As I said earlier, I went for guys that were outgoing, outspoken, etc. So when I thought about my future spouse, I pictured a guy with these qualities minus the cruelty in breaking my heart. lol But I am soooooooo thankful for that heartbreak at the same time. It made me really think. My life would not be as sweet without that heartbreak. I also realized that I thought I knew myself, but God knew me better. Those characteristics that I was looking for in a husband, DIDN'T MEAN A THING!!!! In fact, I think about the guy that broke my heart, and I am happy for him in his new life, because I realize that he WOULDN'T have made me happy in the long run, despite what I thought. Quinn is; quiet, shy, not outspoken, not openly funny but quietly witty, he doesn't make me laugh with jokes but makes me laugh by being funny when he's not trying to be, he is a hunter not a sportster, he's a little OCD and a bit of a clean freak lol, he's loyal, gentle and kind, he would die before he purposely hurt someone, and you know what is the best thing of all? He's PERFECT for me. All those things I thought I needed in a spouse and I realize that there is NO ONE that could handle me and my diabetes and health issues like Quinn. In fact, I think of that "first love" and I am pretty sure it would have been an issue were we to have stayed together. So I think it is amazing that God took the time to say, "Maleri, I know these are the qualities you think you need to be happy, but I KNOW what you will need to be happy and it's the complete opposite of what you are dating." lol We think sometimes that God doesn't care about the small details in our lives and yet He cares enough to get involved in my dramatic love life. lol I will tell you a secret! Quinn and I fought like cats and dogs when we were first married. In fact, I thought I made a HUGE mistake in getting married. WE WERE SO DIFFERENT! But now I could not imagine my life without him. I thought at one point, I would end up divorced, but Quinn fought to keep me, which meant the world to me. He was willing to do whatever to keep me, like I was willing to keep him. So we worked it out, and have been ever since. Yes, we still argue. Frequently actually, but they are just disagreements and we have gotten very good at agreeing to disagree. =) Besides that, makeup sex is AWESOME! =D lol I can hear the gasps. lol After almost ten years of marriage we still have a great sex life. Which, lets face it, it's important. I won't get into details, don't worry. =) lol We've been through the rough, tough, and the ugly. But we've also experienced bliss, contentment, and happiness. He is my best friend in the world and I know I can trust him with anything. He still does little things that bug me, like not washing his shavings down the sink. Hell, he still does BIG things that bug me, like often seeing the glass as half empty quite often. =) Which I know I have things that bug the crap out of him. =) lol But I wouldn't be willing to give up all the good things about him to get rid of the bad. We work well together and are still working well together. Ten years is like 50 in the worlds view now. lol He is the only man I know, that wouldn't push my ICE COLD feet off his warm legs in the middle of the night. lol In fact, he always just says, "Burrrr, your feet are ice sickles." lol He always just lets me keep them on him. lol I once peed on the man and he still loves me. lol Funny story, but another time. =) Now that is love. =) So when I wonder why Quinn is so different from all the other guys I dated, I now count my blessings. I now thank God that He knew better than I of what I needed, rather than what I thought I needed. I hope everyone finds that love. First loves hurt usually, but they make true love sooooo much more sweet. I hope everyone finds their true love. And for all the girls still dating, trying to find their true loves.........keep your eyes open. God might have something else in mind for you. =) And accept it, you won't regret it. But be sure to pray! =) He can't tell you what to look for if you don't ask. =) Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go warm my ice sickle feet on my husband's legs. =D lol "Burrrrr, your feet are ice sickles." lol "Sorry honey!" =) I love you Quinn...........................God gave me you!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment