You know, there are a lot of things I DON'T miss about high school and being a teenager. I didn't like the petty attitudes of other teenagers, I hated the drama that always seemed to be at your heels, I hated zits =) lol, I hated feeling like I was wasting my time dating a bunch of silly boys looking for the right one. In a lot of ways being a teenager is a lot rougher than being an adult. Being unsure of who you are and where you will end up, fighting with yourself to abstain from things you know that will not make you happy, no matter how fun it sounds. =) But despite the hard things we had to go through, those are the things that made us into the people we are today.
Now as an adult, you do sometimes have trouble with petty adults and the drama, so that never truly goes away, but it lessens. =) The zits aren't as fierce, I no longer have to worry about dating the wrong guy, since I found the right one. I still don't know completely who I am, but everyday it gets a little clearer and I look forward to finding out who I am capable of being. I know where I am and have a gist of how things will end up. I no longer have to abstain from those things that weren't right when I was in high school, and the temptations you had in high school, aren't really temptations anymore. I now have a family who means the world to me, and they bring me so much joy, but it is a different joy than I had as a teenager. My life is so much better in so many ways now. But I do miss some things about being a teenager that I wouldn't mind getting back.
I miss NOT KNOWING what was going to happen, I miss loving so passionately that you couldn't sleep at night, I miss wanting nothing more than to be able to talk to my boyfriend on the phone all night long. I miss being able to make spur of the moment decisions to go somewhere, not having to pack a diaper bag, and just having to get MYSELF ready. I miss being able to spend 2 hours in the bathroom primping because I had the time. I do miss not having to be responsible. lol I know that sounds selfish, but we all think it, I am just the only one who will admit it. lol I miss driving around town HOPING you will run into that special guy. I miss the anticipation and butterflies in your stomach when the guy you like leans in for a kiss. I miss being able to get with my girlfriends and painting our toes gushing about the cute guys in our history class. I miss road trips and the laughter that seemed to come so easily. I miss having a reason to dress up and going out. I miss my size and lack of stretch marks. =) I miss laying in my car with my legs hanging out the window, trying to get a little Vitamin D, while listening and singing along to the radio. I miss being silly and being expected to be that way. I miss the way I felt when that special guy looked at you like you were the coolest and prettiest thing he'd ever seen. I miss being proud of my figure. =) I miss not having to worry about whether I had snot or food stuck to my shirt before I headed out the door. I miss going to the grocery store myself. lol I miss thinking that holding a special guys hand was heaven and not wanting to move the tiniest amount afraid I would disrupt my wonderful moment, no matter how sweaty the guys hand got. I miss the love notes and sentiments that seemed more frequent. I miss my husband not knowing my flaws and thinking I was perfect. lol =D I miss not already knowing what my days would consist of. =)
These things are the things I wish I could relive again. =) I love my life now, but I do miss those desires and intensity that my life once had. =) The great thing about having kids, is that you get to watch them experience all those things you loved. That is the blessing of children, getting to watch them enjoy their lives while trying to keep them from making the same mistakes you made, to intensify that joy even more. But one of these days I am going to convince Quinn to rent a convertible, lay on his lap with my legs hanging out the window while we listen and sing to the radio, on a road trip to see the ocean. Now that is bliss! Then I will take the kids to Disneyland and experience a different sort of bliss. =)
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